Confident Communication and Effective Meetings

16th January, 2012 - Posted by bethcurl - No Comments

How many times have you felt frustrated in a meeting and thought ”this is taking too long, or we are going round and round?” Or do you find it difficult to get your point across in a meeting – either because other people are talking too much, or because you are lacking the confidence to express your views.

Whatever your issues are with meetings, if you adopt some of the following tips, you will make your meetings shorter and more focused, your contributions more influential and  you will leave with the outcomes you need.

• Be clear on the purpose and objectives of the meeting; is it to build a relationship, discuss options or make decisions?
• Make sure the right people are there.
• The size of the meeting will affect the formality, process  and speed of decision making.
• Have an agenda with start and finish times and preferably with times for each item on the agenda.
• If you have not received an agenda, ask for one or suggest one.
• Prepare well –  read papers and prepare your thoughts.
• be clear on the output needed from the meeting.
• Meetings need to make decisions to justify their time.

If you are chairing:

• Arrange who will take action notes or minutes.
• Ensure everyone has a chance to speak.
• Bring in quieter people.
• Be alert to people’s non-verbal behaviour indicating feelings and attitudes and who who wants to speak.
• The chair needs to make sure all views are held regardless of their own views.
• Keep the meeting to time – use the agenda to steer and keep people on track.
• Use summaries to refocus the meeting.

If you are participating

• Take your fair share of the air time
• Don’t dominate or hog the floor
• Indicate  non-verbally to the chair when you want to speak
• Create a gap so you can speak –  using people’s names or a phrase like “that’s an interesting point” can create the gap for you to join in.
• If you are not very confident about speaking, make a small contribution early in the meeting so your voice is heard. Just saying”I agree” to someone else’s point, establishes you as part of the meeting.
• Show your support for people by saying “I agree” – its surprising how influential this small comment can be.
• Resist saying “I disagree” – it tends to get people’s backs up.
• It is more more constructive to say “I see it differently” or “the way I see it”.

Adopt a Sound Inner Dialogue

Inner dialogues are the conversations we have with ourselves in our heads before during and after an event. Sometimes our inner dialogues are positive and we look forward to things with pleasure, excitement and confidence. Other times we have faulty inner dialogues and give ourselves negative messages about an event, and we may feel dread, anxiety, anger or irritability about a person or a situation. Such faulty inner dialogues stops us from communicating confidently and assertively, or may lead us to behave aggressively.

To get the best result in any situation we need to adopt a sound inner dialogue. A sound inner dialogue  in a meeting will enable you to contribute confidently and assertively. It will help you to see your colleagues in the most constructive light and so bring the best out of them and it will enable you to achieve the best outcomes from the meeting for all concerned. Try some of these sound inner dialogues and write some of your own.

• ” I am well prepared and can make my point clearly and concisely.”
• “Others may have different views  - these are not challenges to me personally – they are useful  perspectives and  will help us to come to the best decisions.
• “Although so and so has been difficult in the past, he does bring particular strengths to the project.”

Good luck with your meetings and let us know what works for you!

And remember that you can learn to communicate mre confidently in meetings on 28th Feb at Confident Communication at Harwell