Successful communication is a two way process and by making our own communication behaviour as effective as possible, we can bring out the best in other people, create real understanding and achive win win outcomes for both parties. While sometimes we might like other people to behave differently or more reasonably, we need to start with our own behaviour. By adjusting our own communication style, we can have a positive effect on others and work together towards good results.

So lets have a look at what is going on when we communicate and the areas we can work on. We can divide our communication into two areas – the observable behaviour that other people can see and hear. This includes what we say, our choice of words, our body language and our voice and our actions. On the workshop we will work on confident and assertive language, questioning and listening, confident non-verbal behaviour, body language and the voice. If we just did that we could achieve a good rise in people’s level of confidence, as perceived by themselves and by others.

But this is only part of the story! The most powerful drivers of our communication behaviour are happening where others can’t see them – in our heads. And it is by tapping into and understanding what drives our behaviour from within, that we can achieve the real step changes in confidence and the ability to communicate effectively in challenging situations.

On the workshop we explore a number of areas that may challenge the way we have previously looked at things. We will explore the concept of rights and responsibilities, an excellent tool for examining a situation and analysing each persons rights and responsiblities. We will learn how to achieve win win outcomes, by finding out and taking both people’s needs into account.

Perhaps most powerfully it is how we think in our heads that will determine how successful we are in handling situations confidently. We will explore how to get into the mindset of a confident communicator and identify any beliefs and inner dialogues that are limiting us. We will learn how to convert these into enabling thinking patterns that will strengthen our ability to communicate and resolve situations.

You can start practising this now. Next time you realise that you are thinking negatively about a situation, challenge yourself to think differently. Ask yourself:

• What would happen if I thought about this differently? How would I feel? What would I do?
• What’s my belief about this person or this situation? What would be a more enabling belief?
• Change you negative inner dialogue into a positive one and see what a difference it makes!